Not into Spotify? That's cool. The whole playlist is on my Youtube (SUBSCRIBE!) : HERE.
TWO YEARS AGO// I'll never forget those days we spent alone between San Antonio and Colorado Springs like here in this picture.
The many times he let me stop to look (like here, when he ended up looking even longer than me) and the things he said and that we were happy.
There are things nobody can take away from you, that life can't take, that the confusion of life and our choices in life can't take, that death can't take.
I remember the first time I was so lonely without Jon I couldn't stand it. It was when I drove past a gas station in Eastern Kentucky that we'd - desperate for any food - bought lunchables in. I remember the sign. The locals at the pumps. The cashier. Him buying beef jerky, too. Our convo about the cashier and the locals at the pumps. Laughing. It was a memory that I couldn't share and experience communal grief about. It was mundane to everyone else, not worth a social post or group text. Remember the lunchables gas station? I passed that today, Jon?
I used to resent the "only ours" memories because they reminded me of my stark aloneness. Finality. The shirts he left in the closet and his boots by the back door never pained me near as bad as the memories I have: halved.
But now I'm better. I don't look at this and ask myself why I can't bend this world and my own mind to get to him, to get back *there* (or at least not everytime) -- but instead I hold my half of our memory proudly and close to me like an heirloom.
Would you still wear the most beautiful necklace 'round your neck if it was invisible to everyone else? Damn right, you fuckin would. Because it would still be beautiful to you in your reflection in a rain puddle, or your silhouette in a plate glass department store window. It might be so beautiful that you cry at the sight of yourself.
I learned from losing Jon, from my memories like this -- from this very photo popping up -- that death sure is a fuckin' mirror. Certain memories are chains you will always wear. But with these, you choose the weight, the style, the length, the look of what you have hanging around your neck with each hard new look at yourself. This is the rest of your life and you will be thankful for it.
hangin on the front porch, talkin' rocks with my dad (who made these)
Very excited to let you guys know my lifestyle brand @appalachiancouture is about to get stocked with some great new (and old, GOOD old) wares for a drop next month!
Appalachian Autumn will be comin' at ya!
In the meantime -- and as it is "back to school" season and I love pencils and cute scissors and backpacks and bags as much as the next woman -- I have about 15 of my limited-edition AC totes remaining and they're up on the site now! Link in bio!!
my empire of dirt
just greasy enough, indeed!
Rad tee in my mail this morning from @74jmay -- Monday is off to a pretty ruling start!
Any y'all wanna take a guess on what the guitar is that @colterwall played when opening for Billy Joe Shaver? Closest one to the year gets a free tshirt on me! Oh, @chicagomusicexchange how we love theeeeeee.
And thanks to my photo boo @john.khuu for this image!
white daughters --------------------------------------------------- this 👚 is from one of my favorite artists & creative brains, directly from the heart of the Mississippi delta @lambfishart.
Aye, #neverrefuseamuse (in Mississippi)
That girl's a weekender -------------------------------------------------
And aye, #neverrefuseamuse